


HartSquaredBig

by orphan_account



Category: Holy Trinity (YouTube RPF)
Genre: F/F, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2016-03-12
Packaged: 2018-05-26 08:17:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6231109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hannah thinks Grace and Mamrie dating is the weirdest thing that could happen. She’s wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The first time they kiss her is a joke.  
They’re all at Grace’s place, finally shooting an MDK with all three of them. Grace and Mamrie are already half-drunk from shooting YDAD and by the time they finish for the day all three of them are completely bombed and Hannah is laughing so hard she thinks she might have pulled something. Somehow they’ve ended up in costume; Grace is in her onesie, Mamrie in her band uniform and Hannah is swamped in Mamrie’s ghillie suit. As the headpiece flops over her face again, Hannah splutters.  
“Mametown, I need to change. This thing is trying to drown me!”  
It’s Grace who answers.  
“No changing on the battlefield, soldier!”  
“Listen to Commander Koala!” Mamrie yells and Hannah cracks up laughing again. She dunks her hand in what was supposed to be some sort of tomato based sauce and wipes it across her face.  
“I’m hit!” She yells “You’ll have to cut me out of it for surgery!”  
“That’s what she said!” Grace and Mamrie both reply and Hannah snorts.  
“What? That doesn’t even make sense!”  
“Oh, like you need to make sense to get a girl naked,” Grace scoffs. “You just do the adorable blue eyed stare, lisp a bit and trip over your words and every girl in a three block radius drops their panties.”  
Mamrie shrieks with laughter, nodding.  
“Grace!” Hannah says, scandalised, “that’s not true. It’s five blocks.” She grins.  
“You adorable little shit, how are you still single?” Mamrie demands.  
Hannah assumes a bewildered, lost look.  
“I have no idea!” She holds it together for nearly three seconds before they all howl with laughter.  
“How could anyone not want these fine specimens?” Grace gestures broadly across the room, filled with the detritus of six hours of filming and three costumed lunatics.  
“Well, I am clearly saving myself for marriage. Something must be putting the hotties off you two though,” Hannah intones, stroking her chin thoughtfully and examining one of Grace’s koala ears and Mamrie’s epaulettes.  
“Clearly you must both be horrible kissers.” She informs them sadly.  
Mamrie squawks in outrage and Grace giggles madly.  
“It’s true, Mamrie, you suck at kissing,” Grace teases.  
“Like you would know!” Mamrie shoots back and Grace raises an eyebrow.  
“That doesn’t count!” Mamrie insists. “It was a dare and I was drunk!”  
“You’re always drunk!” Grace yells. “You do more kissing drunk than sober! Shouldn’t you be better at it?”  
“Uh, hi, Kettle? This is Grace. You suck at kissing too!” Mamrie yells at Grace. Hannah laughs and Mamrie turns to her.  
“Hey, you’re the resident lady-kisser. You be the judge.”  
And then Mamrie is kissing her. It lasts a second or two before they both start giggling and break apart. When they look over Grace is doing the Home Alone face at them.  
“Your turn, Helbig!” Mamrie crows. Hannah is giggling too hard to form words.  
“Did you get possessed by the ghost of tumblr or something?” Grace demands. Mamrie just starts making the chicken noise.  
“Fine!” Grace strides over and looks at Hannah sternly, although she can see Grace’s lips twitch.  
“Try not to fall madly in love with me,” Grace instructs her, and Hannah nods.  
They kiss. Hannah giggles through the whole thing and when they break apart Grace manages to look disapproving for half a second before snorting with laughter.  
“Well?” Mamrie demands.  
“Um,” Hannah tries to compose herself, tries to look contemplative. She fails.  
“It’s true. You both suck. As Lady Homo in Chief, I must ask you to never kiss anyone for the sake of all Kissingdom.”  
Mamrie throws a banana at her, Grace pulls the ghillie suit over her face and before long all three of them are wrestling drunkenly on Grace’s sofa.  
——-  
Hannah wakes up on Grace’s sofa, head pounding and stomach rolling. Mamrie staggers out of the spare room in fuzzy pajama pants and her uniform jacket, heading straight for the aspirin and seltzer. Grace sleeps until noon and since Hannah and Mamrie feel slightly more alive by then, they make her breakfast. Hannah walks Goose, hoping the exercise will make her feel better. When she comes back the other two are sitting in silence, wincing occasionally.  
“Hey guys, I’m gonna get home and start editing,” Hannah says quietly. Mamrie raises a hand in farewell and Grace manages a grimace of acknowledgement. Hannah walks home, leaving her car at Grace’s.  
She doesn’t forget, exactly. It’s more that it doesn’t stand out. It was one joke in a whole night of jokes and Hannah doesn’t dwell on it, so when Mamrie calls her asking if they were dicks for kissing her, she laughs.  
“Mames, irresistible as you are, I’m fine. I’ll soldier on.”  
Mamrie laughs and makes a Commander Koala crack and Hannah hears Grace’s voice raised in outrage. Court martial is threatened and Hannah hangs up, promising to pick up her car that afternoon.  
——-  
Something changes. Hannah can’t put her finger on it, but something is going on. Mamrie and Grace are planning something. She’s caught them once or twice, whispering furtively, always stopping whenever they see her. She doesn’t pry though. If her friends want to whisper and plot without her, she’ll just enjoy the surprise.  
——-  
Hannah thinks she’s going crazy, or spending way too much time on tumblr. That must be it. She’s been reading too much fanfic and it’s infected her brain, because there is no way, there is just no way, that Grace and Mamrie are secretly dating. It’s been two months since the night they both kissed her. The two of them are still whispering in corners but once or twice Hannah noticed one of them reach for the other and then stop, glance at her and retreat. Maybe she’s being pranked. Mamrie’s commitment to a good prank is legendary and despite what people sometimes think, she can be very subtle. She once decided to convince a friend of hers that his apartment was haunted and spent six months planting the idea in his mind before she even started the prank itself.  
Yeah, that must be it. They’re laying the groundwork for a prank. Grace is probably trying to get back at her for the proposal stunt at Vidcon. Now at least she’s prepared.  
——-  
It isn’t a prank. Not unless Mamrie is both psychic and a time-traveller. Which, to be honest, isn’t impossible, but Hannah is more inclined to believe that they really are dating. Barely.  
There’s no way they could have planned this. Hannah is in a part of LA she rarely visits and stopped at this restaurant on a complete whim. She’s seated near the back in a weird little booth-type area and isn’t really visible from the entrance, so when she hears Grace’s voice she leans over, intending to wave.  
Grace and Mamrie are holding hands. Grace and Mamrie are dressed to the nines. Grace and Mamrie are glancing at each other and smiling and asking to be seated somewhere private.  
Grace and Mamrie are on a date. There is no way they could know she would be here. They’re on an actual date and oh my god the hostess is leading them to the booth behind hers.  
Hannah freezes up. She has no idea what to say. This is going to be so fucking awkward.  
They don’t see her. Grace gestures for Mamrie to sit and then seats herself and somehow (thank you god!) they don’t notice that Hannah is right behind them, separated only by the odd wicker walls that divide each booth.  
“Oh my God, Grace, this place is so cheesy!” Mamrie says and her voice sounds completely normal. She talks to Grace like that every day. Maybe this isn’t what Hannah thinks.  
“I know, but the food is amazing. Plus, nobody knows about it.” Grace replies. Is her voice softer than usual? Hannah debates just getting up and leaving but there’s no way they wouldn’t notice her.  
“By nobody you mean Hannah?” Mamrie doesn’t sound upset, or angry.  
“Yeah,” Grace says and Hannah knows her well enough to hear the smile in her voice. “I know we’re telling her tomorrow, I just wanted you to myself for one more night.”  
There’s a pause.  
“Okay,” Mamrie says.  
There’s another pause. Are they smiling at each other? Are they seriously just sitting and smiling at each other? What is happening right now?  
“You look beautiful, Mamrie,” Grace says and her voice has definitely softened.  
“Thank you,” Mamrie replies. Hannah wonders if she’s blushing.  
The waitress comes over to take their drinks order and Hannah tries to think.  
Okay, her best friends are dating. How does she feel about that?  
Kind of okay, actually. They clearly aren’t freaking out about the whole liking a girl thing, which doesn’t surprise her. They’ve both said in the past that they would date a girl if they liked one, it’s just never happened. She first noticed the whispering about a month ago, but apart from that nothing about their friendship has changed. Once they come out to her (remember to act surprised, Hannah!) the whispering should stop.  
Now that she’s finished panicking, Hannah’s happy for them. She just has to get through tonight and never, ever let them know she was here.  
The waitress approaches her table. Shit. They’ll hear her voice.  
“Is everything okay with your meal?” She asks. Hannah nods.  
“Can I get you anything else?” Hannah shakes her head.  
The waitress leaves. Hannah breathes out and takes a sip of her water. It catches in her throat and she coughs. Loudly.  
“Is that Hannah?”  
Shit.  
Mamrie’s head appears around the booth wall, wide-eyed. Hannah’s eyes are watering and she raises a hand weakly.  
“Hi Mames,” Hannah manages.  
“Hannah?” She hears Grace get up and walk over.  
“You’re kidding me,” Grace says and Hannah can only smile ruefully.  
“Sorry to crash your date,” Hannah says and they both blush.  
“You knew?” Mamrie asks.  
“Not for sure, not until you walked in here,” Hannah assures her. Grace slides into the booth opposite her and Mamrie follows. Hannah suspects they’re holding hands under the table.  
“We were gonna tell you, Hannah,” Mamrie says and Hannah cuts her off.  
“It’s okay guys. I get it. If I were dating one of you I’d want some space to work it out in, too.”  
They both smile. This is going ridiculously smoothly. Nobody is freaking out, nobody is angry or upset. Hannah is momentarily jealous, remembering the disaster that was her own coming out.  
“You guys finish your date,” Hannah tells them, “and I’ll see you on Friday.”  
“Stay,” they tell her in unison. They look at each other and laugh and Hannah joins in.  
“You guys look amazing, by the way,” she tells them, and they do. Grace is wearing a gorgeous white dress with her hair falling in soft curls around her shoulders and Mamrie is absolutely rocking her blue dress, her hair piled artistically on her head.  
Grace and Mamrie order their food and Hannah orders dessert and they talk like any other night. They end up closing the place down and Hannah walks them to Grace’s car before saying goodnight. As she walks away she looks back in time to see Grace lift Mamrie’s hand and kiss it. It’s a little weird, but Hannah sees the shy smile on Mamrie’s face and she smiles in response.  
——-  
Nothing much really changes once Grace and Mamrie come out to her. They’re both very private people in some ways and Hannah is the only person who knows. Hannah worries about being the third wheel, but it never happens. They’re still just as physical and flirtatious and occasionally downright inappropriate with each other as they always were and if Hannah didn’t occasionally see Mamrie press a quick kiss to Grace’s lips or Grace reach out and tangle her fingers with Mamrie’s, she would have thought the whole thing had been a joke after all. Their relationship is mostly this vague and theoretical idea that doesn’t really impact her life at all and although she’s ashamed of it, she does sometimes wonder if it’s even a real relationship. She knows about curious straight girls and she wonders if they’ve even gone past making out, let alone had sex.  
She gets her answer.  
It’s a Thursday and Hannah is leaving Grace’s apartment. The three of them have been hanging out all morning but Hannah has a meeting in an hour and she needs to get home and change. She gets halfway home before she realises her phone is sitting on Grace’s coffee table, so she turns around and heads back. She raises a hand to knock and stops dead. Though the window she can see the two of them stretched out together on the sofa. There’s discarded clothing all around them and although they have a light blanket covering them, they are clearly naked and post-coital. Mamrie is running her hands through Grace’s hair and looking at her hungrily. The movement of her hand dislodges the blanket and Grace’s bare back comes into view. Even from here Hannah can see the nail marks that have been raked across Grace’s back and Hannah isn’t entirely sure what response she should have to that but she’s pretty sure that whatever she’s feeling right now is inappropriate. Grace leans forward and kisses Mamrie and it isn’t the chaste kisses she’s seen before. This is a slow, bone-meltingly sexy kiss. Mamrie’s hand clenches into a fist in Grace’s hair as she pulls her closer and Hannah’s heart starts to pound. Grace is pushing Mamrie onto her back and sliding on top of her and one of her hands starts moving south under the blanket and Hannah needs to get out of here right now and oh my God Grace is kissing Mamrie’s neck and Mamrie is arching her back and Hannah can’t take her eyes off them. Grace bites down and Mamrie makes a noise Hannah has never heard her make before and Hannah finally snaps out of it. She backs away from the door slowly and gets back in her car and tries very hard not to notice that she’s wet.  
She autopilots through her meeting and comes home to a message from Grace saying they found her phone and she should come pick it up. Hannah’s not sure she can look either of them in the eye, so she ignores it.  
She makes dinner and tries not to think about it. She checks her email and tries not to think about it. She turns on the TV and tries not to think about it.  
She thinks about it.  
She’s always known her friends are attractive. She’s even let her eyes wander idly on occasion, when Grace wears those ridiculous shorts or Mamrie decides to abuse the concept of ‘plunging neckline’. Nobody could read fanfic about themselves having wild sex with someone and not have the idea pop up from time to time, and if maybe she thought about it in those disjointed moments before orgasm a couple of times, it didn’t mean anything. People have weird thoughts when they masturbate. Whatever, no judging.  
She can’t stop seeing it. She’s had no problem adjusting to the idea that her friends are dating, but the sheer passion she’d seen was overwhelming. She shifted uncomfortably as her body responded to the memory.  
Get it together, Hannah. Distract yourself.  
She turns the TV back on. Game of Thrones. Fuck.  
——-  
She drives over that evening, intending to pick up her phone, leave, and make as little eye contact as possible. Grace is alone, thank God, but Hannah’s phone is on the sofa, sitting on top of a neatly folded blanket. Great. She picks it up and turns to leave, trying not to look as though she’s thinking about Grace biting down on Mamrie’s neck.  
“Hey, do you want a drink?” Grace asks.  
“Thanks, but I’ve got to get back,” Hannah replies.  
“Busy day?”  
Hannah hates lying, especially to her friends. She shrugs.  
“I guess I’ve got time for a drink,” she concedes.  
She sits in the leather chair. She doesn’t think she’ll ever sit on the sofa again.  
They talk for a while and Hannah slowly relaxes, allowing the afternoon’s events to recede from her thoughts. Eventually she stands and stretches briefly before saying goodbye to Grace and heading for the door. Grace stands to see her out.  
“Oh, your phone!” Grace goes to the sofa to pick it up and holy shit. She’s wearing those tiny shorts and when she bends down Hannah is hit by a wave of lust. She takes the phone and manages to say thanks and Grace chooses that moment to wrap her in a hug.  
Of all days, Grace Don’t-Touch-Me Helbig chooses today to hug her. Hannah hugs back, aware that freezing in place would look weird, and hopes Grace can’t feel her heart jackrabbiting in her chest.  
How she gets home in one piece she doesn’t know.  
“Seriously Hannah,” she says out loud, “don’t do this. Do not do this.”  
She can not get a crush on Grace. Can’t happen. Won’t happen.  
——-  
Hannah has it under control. Her therapist says it’s normal. She was introduced to the idea of her friends as sexual beings in a more than theoretical way and she’s responding to that. So if she has to stop herself staring at Grace’s legs or Mamrie’s lips, that’s okay. It’ll pass. She just wishes it would pass quicker. It was bad enough when Grace hugged her, but when she saw Mamrie a couple of days later, sporting the last shadow of a hickey, her knees had gone weak. It’s faintly humiliating that she’s managed to develop simultaneous crushes on both of her best friends, but six months have gone by without her embarrassing herself and she’s doing okay.  
There’s a party tonight at her apartment, so the three of them are out getting supplies. Mamrie blushes faintly when the guy at the liquor store greets her by name, but Grace nudges her and smiles and damn, the sickeningly cute stuff doesn’t help Hannah at all. The two of them are smitten with each other and Hannah isn’t jealous, exactly, she just wishes she had the same thing.  
As they finish setting up for the party, Mamrie puts her arms around Grace and kisses her deeply. Hannah feels her ears redden but she doesn’t think she lets anything show.  
“What was that for?” Grace asks, sounding pleased.  
“Just to tide me over till everyone leaves,” Mamrie replies and Grace blushes. Hannah’s pretty sure she blushes too, so she heads for the kitchen. She hears the two of them murmuring softly to each other and purposefully tunes it out.  
The party is amazing. Hannah is pretty sure she’s going to be nursing the mother of all hangovers in the morning but right now she doesn’t care. People are dancing in her living room, Mamrie is producing some kind of cocktail that Hannah’s pretty sure is illegal in fourteen states and Grace is single-handedly acting out what she calls ‘a modern retelling of Romeo and Juliet’ using only Taylor Swift lyrics. The music changes and Hannah hears the familiar opening strains of Katy Perry. From the kitchen she hears Mamrie shriek in delight and the three of them converge almost by instinct to the ‘dance floor’. They sing along at the top of their lungs, pulling people in to join them and by the time the song ends there’s a huge group hug going on, the three of them squished together in the middle. Hannah can’t stop smiling.  
The party winds down around two am. Hannah hugs Pearl and she and Nick depart, leaving only the three of them left. Grace is still dancing and as Hannah passes she grabs her by the arm and pulls her into a loose embrace. They dance together for a few moments and Hannah realises her anxiety has gone. Maybe it’s the alcohol or maybe it’s just good timing but dancing in Grace’s arms she just feels happy. The attraction is still there, she’s just not worried about it. Mamrie comes through and joins them and the three of them dance energetically, laughing like crazy people. A slower song comes on and Grace grins at Hannah mischievously. Hannah finds herself sandwiched between Mamrie and Grace as the two of them slow dance with her jammed in the middle. Hannah and Mamrie giggle, but Grace stares at Mamrie, glances down at Hannah and nods. Hannah feels Mamrie inhale sharply in response but before she can say anything Grace has reached across her shoulder and is kissing Mamrie. Hannah freezes.  
The two of them kiss softly at first, but within a few seconds progress to full-blown making out. Hannah tries to slip out from between them but Mamrie’s hands come to her hips, holding her still. Grace lifts a hand and runs it through Hannah’s hair, never breaking the kiss and Hannah takes a deep breath, trying to control her body’s response.  
“Uh, guys?” Hannah says.  
Grace tugs on her hair a little and Hannah remembers telling Grace that that is a weakness of hers. Mamrie’s hands slide from her hips around her waist and Hannah swears that Grace’s hips roll subtly in response. They finally stop kissing and just stand there, resting their foreheads together and apparently having a conversation entirely through eye contact, because they both look at her at the same time. Hannah’s skin is on fire and she’s pretty sure her breathing has gone ragged and the two of them just smile at her, the bitches.  
“What-“ she manages to say, but Graces free hand comes up to place a finger on her lips.  
“We know how you act when you like someone, Harto,” Mamrie purrs into her ear and Jesus, Hannah’s legs just turned to jello. “You can’t hide anything from us.”  
“We’ve caught you staring,” Grace tells her.  
“But-“ Hannah is actually glad that Grace cuts her off, because she no idea what she was about to say.  
“Shh!” Grace scolds, tugging on her hair again.  
“We talked about it,” Mamrie says, dropping another kiss onto Grace’s lips, “and we agreed, it doesn’t feel right without you.”  
This is a hallucination. She’s having a stroke. Mamrie’s moonshine has pickled her brain and right now she’s sitting on the sofa drooling while people dance around her. It’s the only explanation.  
Grace pulls on her hair hard enough that she tilts her head and Mamrie places the lightest of kisses on her exposed neck.  
“Fuck!” She can’t help it, it just slips out. Grace grins at her.  
“That’s the plan,” she says and leans in to kiss her.  
——-  
Hannah is told in no uncertain terms that if she isn’t touching one of them she damn well better be touching herself because watching the show is almost as good as being in it, and Hannah complies. Mamrie likes to give instructions and it is just embarrassing the way Hannah responds to the tone of command in her voice. Grace likes eye contact, which Hannah wasn’t expecting, especially when Grace is doing things to Mamrie that Hannah’s going to blush thinking about tomorrow and the whole time she watches Hannah. Grace kisses with her whole body, tangling her legs with Hannah’s and holding on tight. Mamrie has a sensitive spot at the base of her back that sends shivers all over her body.  
After a while the nerves and the awkwardness fade and it’s just them, loving each other. Hannah isn’t too far gone to notice them both looking at her with the same expression they give to each other and when they stop for a rest, Hannah finally speaks up.  
“So, is a thing or is this a thing?”  
Grace laughs and Mamrie ruffles her hair.  
“Don’t overthink it, Hannah,” Grace tells her, with a significant look at Mamrie that clues Hannah in to the fact that this didn’t happen spontaneously. This has been discussed and planned.  
“We love each other,” Mamrie tells her and Hannah’s heart constricts, half happy and half terrified, “and we want you to be a part of that.”  
Hannah has a feeling they are both choosing their words carefully.  
“Like, what, dating?” Hannah asks. “You want me to date you?”  
Grace hesitates. “I know it’s weird,” she says, “we only even talked about it when we realised you were acting like an idiot around both of us.”  
“We tried to work out what to do,” Mamrie tells her, “and I joked about a tournament to compete for your affections and Grace said we should just share you-“  
“And we just looked at each other,” Grace interrupted, “and suddenly we weren’t kidding.”  
Hannah is suddenly intensely aware that they’re all naked. Mamrie’s head is propped up on her thigh and Grace’s legs are slung over Mamrie’s lap. They’ve sat like this a million times before. This should feel so weird, but instead Hannah is combing her fingers through Mamrie’s hair and calmly thinking about dating them.  
“If it’s not what you want we can call it a night and never speak of it again,” Mamrie says and Grace nods, miming zipping her lips.  
“But if you want to try,” Mamrie continues, “We’re on board.”  
Hannah tries to collect her thoughts. The lingering alcohol and the post-threesome lassitude slur her words a little but she manages.  
“You guys don’t need to worry about me, I know you love each other and I don’t-“  
Grace slaps her upside the head. Her expression must be pretty funny because they both laugh.  
“We love you too, you doofus,” Grace tells her. “How could we not? We’re a team!”  
“This isn’t a sacrifice, Hannah,” Mamrie says. “This isn’t you intruding. We want you with us.”  
Hannah doesn’t really know how to respond to that.  
“Think about it,” Grace says. “It took time for us to wrap our heads around it. You don’t have to decide tonight.”  
Mamrie grins wickedly and turns to bite at Hannah’s knee.  
“Tonight is for other stuff.”  
——-  
Hannah wakes up with a headache, a sore back and a neck cramp. She’s plastered up against a very naked back and it takes her a moment to register that it’s Grace’s. The toilet flushes and Mamrie pads back into the room and climbs into the bed. She’s wearing one of Grace’s oversized shirts and the soft cotton rubs against Hannah’s skin as Mamrie cuddles up to her. The sun is only just starting to rise and in the soft light and the early morning quiet Hannah’s hangover is just about bearable. She feels Mamrie lift the sweaty hair away from her neck and drop a kiss on her shoulder.  
Grace chooses that moment to roll over and say good morning and Hannah realises that she hasn’t opened her eyes yet. Not quite knowing why, she snuggles into their joint embrace and grunts softly, pretending to still be asleep.  
Grace and Mamrie are quiet for a while but Hannah can feel the muscles in Mamrie’s arm move as she strokes Grace’s shoulder. Hannah is beginning to drift off for real when Grace speaks.  
“What if she says no? It was scary enough for us.”  
Mamrie takes a long time to reply.  
“Then we had one night.”  
“Babe, don’t take this the wrong way, but-“  
“I know,” Mamrie assures her. “We both want this, Grace. God knows I love you but something is missing without her.”  
Hannah feels Grace nod.  
“But we can’t force this. She told me once she hears her Dad in her head sometimes, telling her she’s going to Hell just for being gay. Can you imagine the freakout this would cause?”  
Hannah tries not to wince. Mamrie isn’t wrong.  
“Hell, Grace, we freaked out. That fight lasted three days!”  
They fought about her?  
“That was just because we were both ashamed to admit what we wanted. Once we talked about it, we were fine.”  
That…sounded like expositionary dialogue. What the hell?  
“You guys know I’m awake, don’t you?” She asks.  
Mamrie laughs softly and kisses her shoulder again.  
“Hello, Harto!” she teases.  
“So that little play was for my benefit?” Hannah grumbles.  
“Yeah, but it’s true, Hannah. We did freak out and we did get over it.”  
“And we do want you,” Grace adds, squeezing Hannah’s hand.  
Hannah is quiet for a moment.  
“If I say yes, do I get breakfast?”  
Mamrie laughs and Grace shoves her gently.  
“Who has the cooking show, Hannah? You should be making us breakfast!”  
Hannah’s retort is cut off by Grace’s lips on hers and she responds instinctually.  
She knows there’s a side to this she doesn’t know. How the two of them started dating, how they decided they wanted to include her. She knows it won’t be easy. She knows she’s going to start freaking out soon. She knows she could never, ever tell her parents.  
She knows she wants it. She reaches back blindly without breaking the kiss and grabs Mamrie’s hand, bringing it to rest over her tattoo, over her heart.


	2. Chapter 2

It’s all Hannah’s fault. Mamrie would never have had that rare moment of insecurity without Hannah’s joke, she wouldn’t have asked Grace if she really was a bad kisser. If Hannah hadn’t passed out on Grace’s sofa like the tiny adorable lightweight she is, they would never have retreated to Grace’s bedroom to continue drinking. If they hadn’t been in the bedroom, a kiss that was meant to be half running joke and half reassurance wouldn’t have turned into Mamrie and Grace having a full blown make out session.  
They’re lying on Grace’s bed, kissing, and Mamrie’s vaguely aware that this is not normal behaviour but she’s pretty drunk and it feels nice and Grace isn’t complaining, so why not? She can blame Hannah in the morning and nothing will change.  
She’s a little surprised at how into it she is. She’s kissed girls before and never really felt a spark, but this is starting to have an effect and she wonders if Grace feels the same way. She bites down gently on Grace’s bottom lip and the response is immediate: Grace whimpers softly and grips at Mamrie’s hips. Okay, wow. Now she’s more than a little into it. That was hot.  
She does it again and Grace presses her body into Mamrie’s in response. Yeah, she’s definitely into this. She runs a hand up Grace’s back, scratching lightly at the fuzzy grey fabric of Grace’s onesie. Grace makes a little frustrated noise and sits up and before Mamrie knows what’s happening, Grace is unzipping the onesie and shoving it off.  
There’s a moment, a pause, where they look at each other and realise that if they’re going to stop, now is the time. Stop now and they can laugh it off in the morning. The moment passes. Grace leans forward and kisses her again.  
Grace is on top of her now and Mamrie’s never been the submissive type but this doesn’t feel like being topped. Mamrie’s hand slides under Grace’s shirt and up to her shoulder blades and Grace whimpers again. Mamrie scratches a little, experimentally.  
“Fuck,” Grace hisses, burying her face in Mamrie’s neck.  
Mamrie chuckles, enjoying the sensation of having Grace pressed against her. Her hands continue upwards, tugging at Grace’s shirt until finally it lies discarded on the floor. Grace is kissing her throat so softly that her entire body is tingling. Mamrie hums her approval and tests her new theory by digging her nails into Grace’s back.  
Grace’s hips rock into hers and she moans. Interesting. Apparently Grace likes it a little rough.  
Mamrie can’t experiment further because Grace is sitting up again, pulling Mamrie with her and then tearing the clothes off both of them. Mamrie doesn’t have time to react to being naked before Grace is pushing her down again and kissing her and Mamrie can’t help but respond. Grace’s leg slips between hers and oh yeah, friction is her friend. She moves her leg to mirror Grace’s actions. They’re both panting harshly and Mamrie’s hands slide down Grace’s back to cup her ass, encouraging her to move.  
The room is filled with the sound of Grace’s quiet whimpers and Mamrie’s harsh breathing. Grace kisses her briefly and then buries her face in Mamrie’s neck again. Mamrie feels teeth against her skin and moans loudly. She stops for a moment, wondering if she woke Hannah, but Grace doesn’t seem to care and soon she’s caught up once again in the sensation. She moves her thigh and slips her hand between Grace’s legs and Grace swears roughly before returning the favour and now there really is no way around it, she and Grace are outright fucking.  
Mamrie feels herself getting close. She lets out an inarticulate groan and drags her nails up Grace’s lean back. Grace shudders and her hips jerk roughly and Mamrie realises she’s coming. Her brain short-circuits at the idea and she follows suit, biting her lip to keep quiet.  
Grace collapses against her. Mamrie pushes her sweaty hair out of her eyes and laughs softly.  
“Well that was unexpected.”  
It’s the wrong thing to say. Grace jerks away from her and blushes hotly, reaching for her discarded clothes.  
“Hey, I didn’t mean-” Mamrie starts, but Grace holds up an abrupt hand, cutting her off. She’s clearly freaking out, so Mamrie rolls gracefully off the bed and pulls her own clothes on.  
“Relax, Gracie,” she says as she heads for the spare bedroom, “we’ll talk in the morning.”  
——-  
Hangovers are a bitch. Hannah is just stirring on the sofa as she hunts for painkillers and the two of them start to clear up the detritus of the previous night. Mamrie hasn’t freaked out yet which is cool, if surprising, but she has absolutely no idea what she’s going to say to Grace. She and Hannah finish clearing up and talk quietly for a while until Grace finally emerges.  
Mamrie and Hannah make breakfast and Mamrie is painfully aware that Grace won’t look her in the eye. When Hannah mentions taking Goose out, Mamrie sees the panic flash across Grace’s expression but to her surprise, Grace doesn’t protest. Hannah leads the dog out and the two of them sit in silence for a moment.  
“You okay?” Mamrie asks.  
Grace shakes her head.  
“On a scale of one to ten, how bad are you freaking out?” Her light tone seems to calm Grace a little and she manages a small smile.  
“Around 200,” she says and Mamrie smiles.  
“Relax, Helbig,” she instructs. “We were drunk. Shit happens. It doesn’t have to mean anything.”  
“Okay,” Grace mumbles, dropping her head and hiding behind her hair.  
“Hey,” Mamrie says, softening her voice, “look at me.”  
Grace looks up through her bangs and Mamrie is struck by how vulnerable she looks.  
“What is it?” Mamrie asks softly. Grace shakes her head and hugs herself unconsciously.  
“I’m so sorry, Mamrie. I’m not real proud of myself right now.”  
Mamrie’s heart lurches at the shame in Grace’s voice. She pulls Grace into a hug, trying not to notice the new awareness of her body touching Grace’s.  
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Grace.”  
“I used you,” Grace replies. “I’m supposed to be your friend and instead I kissed you when you were drunk and took advantage-“  
“No you didn’t,” Mamrie insists. “I was right there with you, Grace. Okay, I wasn’t expecting it, but you didn’t do anything I didn’t consent to.”  
Grace hangs her head again and a nasty thought occurs to Mamrie.  
“Do…do you regret it?”  
Grace hesitates, then nods slowly.  
“Oh.” Mamrie doesn’t know what to say to that and the two of them sit in awkward silence until Hannah brings Goose back and says her goodbyes. They just sit there, not speaking, and Mamrie is surprised to find herself becoming angry with Grace.  
“Okay, no. I’m not going to let this fuck up our friendship. You didn’t take advantage. We both wanted it and we both enjoyed it and we’re both grown-ass women and we’re going to deal with this!”  
Grace looks at her in shock.  
“You enjoyed it?”  
Mamrie stares at her.  
“Uh, yeah, Grace. You didn’t catch on to that when I had a fucking orgasm?”  
Mamrie can actually see the moment realisation hits her and she can’t help it, she laughs.  
“You didn’t know?” She asks incredulously.  
“No! I mean, I remember coming and then you went really still and quiet and I thought you were freaking out and I just-.”  
“That’s what you think? I was coming too! I was trying to keep quiet in case I woke Hannah, idiot!”  
Grace laughs out loud in relief and the two of them grin at each other.  
“Jesus,” Mamrie breathes, painfully aware of how close they had skirted to disaster.  
“Yeah,” Graces says and they sit in comfortable silence for a moment.  
“Do you really regret it, Grace?” Mamrie asks finally.  
“I thought you were just… I thought I’d hurt you and you were asking if I was sorry.”  
“Is that a yes or a no?”  
Grace hesitates and Mamrie recognises the look she gets when she’s gathering her courage.  
“No.”  
“Me neither.”  
The silence washes over them again. Mamrie knows they should probably talk about it more, but her head is pounding and she doesn’t share Hannah’s enthusiasm for processing. She decides to just skip the awkward post-one night stand bullshit and trust that their friendship will survive.  
“So that’s it? That’s the freaking out over with?” She teases and watches the comprehension and gratitude flood Grace’s features. The two of them have always understood each other.  
“I think so.”  
“Thank God! That was way too much drama for a hangover this bad.”  
——-  
A week or so passes and Mamrie and Grace shoot another YDAD. By unspoken agreement they don’t get drunk and as they clean up Mamrie quietly empties the cocktail glasses down the sink. The two of them collapse on Grace’s sofa to watch some cheesy cowboy film and within half an hour they ignore it in favour of just talking. She leaves around midnight and they even manage a hug at the door. Mamrie has to admit she’s pretty proud of them for how they’ve handled everything. There’s no residual weirdness and Mamrie is smart enough to take the win and not question it.  
——-  
The three of them have gone out to dinner and Mamrie’s starting to think her self-congratulation was premature. Grace is staring at her. She can feel it. Mamrie decides to blame the wine and tries to focus on Hannah’s story about a rude waitress. She resists as long as she can before sneaking a glance across the table. Grace’s cheeks are flushed and she’s biting her lip and suddenly all Mamrie can think about is how she did the same thing with Grace’s naked body pressed against hers as she was consumed by pleasure.  
She shakes herself mentally and returns her attention to Hannah just in time to groan at a particularly egregious pun. Grace flags down a waiter and orders another bottle and Mamrie tries not to look at the exposed column of her throat as she looks up at the tall man.  
The meal progresses and Mamrie is sure now. Grace is staring intently at her whenever Hannah’s attention is elsewhere. Mamrie waits for Hannah to focus on her food and then shoots an arched brow at Grace.  
Grace licks her lips. Mamrie swallows, hard.  
They order dessert and Hannah gets up to use the bathroom. Mamrie pins Grace with a look.  
“Explain yourself, Helbig.” She keeps her voice low.  
“I’ve been thinking about it. You. Us,” Grace tells her, gesturing between them.  
“You have?”  
“I have. Haven’t you?”  
Mamrie blushes.  
“A little.”  
“I was kind of fuzzy that morning. It took a few days to remember everything clearly.”  
“That explains a lot,” Mamrie mutters and Grace scowls at her.  
“It was good, Mames. I mean, really good.”  
Mamrie blushes.  
“It was,” she agrees.  
“I keep thinking about it. About you. Like, two weeks ago you were just Mamrie and now I look at you and you’re hot.”  
“Uh, thanks?” Mamrie responds.  
“You know what I mean,” Grace says, and she does. Two weeks ago she had known objectively that Grace was beautiful. Now she notices things like the way the low lighting makes her hair shine like fire and turns her eyes an even deeper brown. Two weeks ago she would happily gossip about sex with her friend. Now she is thinking about how Grace gets off on a little bit of pain and how they share the same weakness for having their backs touched.  
“So what do you want to do about that?” Mamrie asks playfully and holy shit, she’s flirting. Grace smiles at her and Mamrie feels her heart rate speed up a little as she opens her mouth to respond.  
Hannah chooses that moment to come back from the bathroom. Mamrie and Grace share a rueful grin and the three of them pick up their conversation effortlessly.  
Mamrie texts Grace that night.  
I never got an answer.  
That’s true, you didn’t  
Mamrie snorts.  
Koalas aren’t generally known for being coy, Grace.  
Have dinner with me tomorrow  
Mamrie blinks at her phone. Even with their blatant flirting, Mamrie had honestly never considered the next logical step.  
Grace Helbig, are you asking me on a date?  
The reply takes a long time to come. Mamrie wonders if Grace has shocked herself as much as she has Mamrie.  
I am. My place, 8.30. I promise not to cook  
Mamrie laughs.  
Order Thai. I’ll bring the wine.  
——-  
They don’t tell Hannah. Neither of them is sure there’s anything to tell. They’ve been dating for a few weeks and it’s clear there’s something there, but they both know that telling Hannah makes it a thing and has the potential to mess with their whole Holy Trinity dynamic, so they agree on their first date to wait and see if this whatever-it-is fizzles out.  
Mamrie doesn’t think it will, though. This new dimension they’ve added hasn’t overshadowed their friendship, it’s enhanced it. They spend as much time laughing and drinking and being immature as they ever did, but now they end the night tangled up in each other, sweaty and satisfied.  
Besides, it’s getting harder to keep the secret, and Mamrie isn’t sure she wants to any more. She’s fairly confident now that this is, in fact, a thing. She doesn’t want to share how she feels with the whole world, but Hannah is their best friend and keeping her in the dark is starting to feel kind of shitty.  
She raises the subject one morning. Grace is still half-asleep and adorably mussed and Mamrie backs her into her kitchen counter and kisses her until she feels Grace’s attention is sufficiently focussed.  
“I think it’s time to tell Hannah,” she murmurs against Grace’s lips.  
“Keep kissing me like that and I’ll agree to anything,” Grace replies.  
“I’ll remember that,” Mamrie promises and slides her hands under Grace’s shirt.  
——-  
Of course Hannah is at the restaurant. It’s not like Mamrie has anything big planned. It’s not like she wants to use this last night of just the two of them to tell Grace how she feels. Mamrie isn’t really angry at Hannah but she will admit to being glad to see her walk away from them at the end of the night.  
“It feels more real now that Hannah knows,” Grace says thoughtfully as they drive back to her apartment.  
Mamrie glances over at her. She’s sitting with her eyes closed, smiling slightly.  
“Like how?”  
Grace thinks for a moment before she speaks.  
“Before tonight it felt like this dream you and I were sharing, a wonderful dream, but not something that existed in the real world. Now it feels like I’ve woken up and the dream turned out to be true.”  
Mamrie’s an actress, she knows when the universe is giving her a cue.  
“I love you, Grace.”  
Grace doesn’t open her eyes but her smile widens and she reaches over to lace her fingers through Mamrie’s.  
“I love you, too.”  
——-  
Mamrie has seen Grace in relationships before. Grace has told her about boyfriends that have become frustrated at her unwillingness to express her emotions verbally. Mamrie thinks they were idiots.  
It’s true, Grace doesn’t say it often. She’s uncomfortable with putting words to her feelings, but Mamrie knows her well enough to recognise that it’s not a lack of feeling causing it. Grace doesn’t think words are sufficient.  
Grace says ‘I love you’ with her body. She kisses Mamrie like she’s trying to taste her soul. She makes love like it hurts her not to touch. She shows her affections in thoughtful gestures, like stocking her cupboards with Mamrie’s favourite coffee and sending her photos of sunsets that she takes while out running.  
To the outside world they remain good friends. They are such private people in some ways that even around Hannah they restrain themselves, and Hannah understands because she’s exactly the same. They’re happy and life is good and they see no reason to let the rest of the world into their little bubble.  
——-  
Hannah is avoiding them. She’s subtle enough that it takes them a while to notice, and Mamrie acknowledges that she’s enjoyed having Grace to herself more, but she talks to Grace one Tuesday and they realise that neither of them have seen their friend in person for three weeks.  
At first they assume it’s just a quirk of their respective schedules and they invite her over for dinner.  
Shit gets weird. Hannah comes over and now that Mamrie is paying attention she notices how Hannah fidgets a little, how reluctant she is to make eye contact, how she leans away from being touched. She exchanges a glance with Grace and her expression tells Mamrie that she sees it too. Hannah eats quickly and makes a fairly weak excuse to leave. They let her go without comment and start clearing up.  
“Okay, I’m not crazy right?” Grace asks her as the wash the dishes, “She’s acting weird.”  
“Yeah,” Mamrie says quietly.  
“Did we piss her off or something?”  
Mamrie shakes her head. Hannah is a big believer in communication and if she was pissed at one of them, they’d know.  
“She didn’t seem angry, just uncomfortable.”  
“With us?” Grace gestures between them.  
“We’ve been together for months, why would she get uncomfortable now?”  
Grace stops suddenly and stares at Mamrie in shock.  
“Mames, when does Hannah get nervous and fidgety around girls?”  
“When she likes them,” Mamrie replies automatically. It takes a second for her own words to register.  
“Oh shit.”  
——-  
After a week they’re sure. Hannah has a crush on one of them and is desperately trying not to let it show. Mamrie isn’t sure what to do. She hates the idea of Hannah suffering in silence but at the same time she’s not sure bringing it up would be helpful. Hannah is obviously trying not to let it affect their friendship and they can’t even be sure which of them it is. They agree that they need to figure out who Hannah is crushing on before they decide what to do and over the next few days they both arrange to spend time alone with her.  
Grace meets her for breakfast near the park one morning to compare notes.  
“It’s me,” she says. “She could barely look at me, didn’t touch me once and every time I touched her she blushed.”  
Mamrie frowns. “She did the same thing with me. Did she keep apologising for nothing with you?”  
“Yeah!” Grace says. “I didn’t really notice at the time but yeah, she did.”  
“Well then it can’t be a crush, something else must be going on.”  
“Either that or she likes us both,” Grace jokes. Mamrie laughs.  
They talk for a while longer but neither of them has any ideas short of asking Hannah flat out, and they suspect all that would do is humiliate her. They agree to try and hint that they’re willing to listen and give Hannah time to come to them before asking her themselves.  
For some reason Mamrie’s thoughts come back around to Grace’s comment and she chews it over long after she and Grace finish their breakfast. Could it be possible? Could Hannah be crushing on them both?  
Obviously it’s possible, they’re both crush-worthy women. Grace is beautiful and funny and awkward and Mamrie knows she’s pretty goddamn awesome herself. Maybe seeing them together flipped some switch in Hannah’s gay little brain and she was just overwhelmed by their combined amazingness. Really, who wouldn’t get a crush on them?  
Mamrie laughs to herself, ignoring the looks she gets.  
——-  
Now that she’s noticed it’s impossible not to see the changes in Hannah’s behaviour. It’s actually kind of adorable, not that Mamrie would ever say that out loud. Mamrie has seen Hannah stare at Grace for a few seconds too long and then shake herself out of it and Mamrie can almost hear her scolding herself silently. She’s caught Hannah checking herself out too, not in the automatic unconscious way she has before, but covertly and with real desire. Mamrie has to admit to being flattered. She’s fairly sure Grace is enjoying the attention too and Mamrie wonders if she should be jealous. If it were anyone else, she thinks she might be, but Hannah has always been special.  
Her thoughts wander idly. She thinks about what they’re going to say when they finally sit Hannah down and get her to try and chill out. She can picture the look on Hannah’s face when she realises she’s been busted and makes a mental note to warn Grace not to laugh. Hannah is cute as hell when she’s surprised and Mamrie wonders what her expression would do if one of them kissed her. It would have to be Grace, there’s no way Mamrie would want to miss that look; her eyebrows climbing into her hairline and those bright blue eyes wide open. Mamrie imagines Hannah jumping back and looking at her with the guilty-little-kid look she does so well and stuttering an apology. She pictures Grace’s lazy smile as Mamrie raises one imperious eyebrow and Hannah trips over her words and her hands gesture wildly until Grace puts a silencing finger over her lips. Grace looks and Mamrie and she nods and Grace leans forward and kisses Hannah again and now Hannah’s surprise fades into puzzlement and finally arousal. Mamrie stands and walks towards them, eyes focused on the exposed skin of Hannah’s neck. She reaches out and-  
What the fuck?  
That did not just happen. She did not think that. There is no way she just fantasised about her girlfriend and her best friend acting out the start of a porno and she definitely isn’t even slightly aroused by the idea. The two of them are due at her apartment in less than an hour and she can’t have that shit rolling around in her mind, so she heads for her office and does her taxes until they arrive.  
Grace and Hannah arrive promptly and the night gets underway. Ever since they noticed, they’ve stopped letting Hannah pull away from them and tonight is supposed to be about the three of them ‘reconnecting as friends’, which is code for getting Hannah drunk and telling her to relax. The first part of the plan goes smoothly and as Hannah succumbs to the effects of the alcohol, she confirms Mamrie’s suspicions. She can’t keep her hands off either of them and Mamrie and Grace share a knowing grin more than once. Hannah isn’t flirting on purpose, Mamrie doesn’t think she’s even aware of it, but her body language is screaming attraction and she always manages to be touching one of them.  
They’re having such fun that Mamrie manages to forget the plan. Hannah crashes out some time after midnight and Grace drags Mamrie into the bedroom and it’s only when she’s halfway through kissing every part of Grace’s body she can find that she remembers they were supposed to deal with Hannah’s crush.  
“Hannah is adorable,” she says. It’s not what she intended to say but apparently her tongue has a mind of its own tonight.  
“Yeah,” Grace agrees dreamily. “She’s got it bad.”  
“Who can blame her? We’re fucking hot!”  
Grace hums her agreement, then moans when Mamrie’s hand moves.  
“She’s pretty hot too, right?” Mamrie says, and where the hell is this coming from?  
“Ye-es” Grace hisses brokenly and Mamrie isn’t sure whether it’s because of what she said or what she’s doing.  
“We need to do something about that.” Mamrie’s tone is almost conversational and she really doesn’t know what the fuck is going on. Grace whines slightly and Mamrie has come to recognise that noise. She rolls them over so Grace is on top and digs the nails of her free hand into the soft skin on her back. Grace makes a helpless sound and kisses her. Mamrie can’t help it, she thinks about Grace kissing Hannah again. She pushes the idea away and tries to concentrate on Grace, but Hannah keeps popping up in her thoughts.  
“Maybe we should fight to the death for her affections.” Mamrie keeps her tone teasing, hiding her turmoil. A person should not be in the middle of fucking their girlfriend and start fantasising about their girlfriend fucking someone else. It’s messed up.  
“Seems fair,” Grace manages to say. Mamrie has to admit she’s impressed. She knows Grace well enough now to know that she’s on the brink of orgasm and she’s still managing to follow the conversation.  
Mamrie twists her wrist and Grace bites down on her shoulder as she comes. The two of them lie together quietly, enjoying the afterglow.  
Grace finally breaks the silence.  
“We could just share her,” she murmurs sleepily. Mamrie tries not to react but she must have jumped or gasped or something because Grace starts awake and stares at her.  
“What was that?” Grace asks her.  
“Nothing,” Mamrie says, “go to sleep.”  
“Do you…do you like the idea?”  
Grace’s habit of being perceptive when drunk is really annoying. Mamrie doesn’t want to lie, but deflection is probably okay.  
“You’re the one who wants to share her out between us, babe.” She tries to keep her tone light. “I didn’t realise you were angling for a threesome.”  
Mamrie expects a laugh or a blush or something, but she doesn’t expect to see guilt in Grace’s eyes.  
“Oh my God,” Mamrie realises, “you weren’t kidding.”  
Grace doesn’t say anything. They stare at each other for a moment. Mamrie’s head is swimming.  
“It’s late and we’re drunk,” Grace finally says. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”  
——-  
Grace is gone when Mamrie wakes up and Mamrie isn’t sure whether she’s pissed or relieved. She gets up to make some coffee and Hannah is still dead to the world, snoring quietly into the arm of the sofa, so Mamrie takes her coffee back to bed and texts Grace.  
Good morning.  
There. Nice and neutral.  
Hey  
Well that’s not helpful at all.  
You left early  
Mamrie hits send by accident so the I missed you goes unsaid.  
I figured you’d want to talk to Hannah  
What?  
You know, since she’s so ‘adorable’ and ‘hot’  
Mamrie swears at her phone.  
I’m not the one who suggested FUCKING her, Grace.  
No, you’re the one who liked the idea  
Mamrie’s memory of their conversation is pretty fuzzy but she has a feeling that that’s unfair, somehow.  
Screw you.  
You don’t need to. Hannah’s there  
Mamrie swears again and throws her phone across the room. It hits the wall with a bang and Mamrie hears Hannah yelp. She sighs and makes her way into the living room.  
“Sorry Hannah, didn’t mean to scare you.”  
Hannah waves a hand in dismissal and smiles. Mamrie goes to refill her coffee and when she turns around Hannah is staring at her and blushing.  
Shit. Mamrie remembers Grace biting her hard last night and this t shirt is so old and stretched it’s practically off the shoulder. There’s no was Hannah hasn’t seen Grace’s mark on her; she looks like she’s going to have an aneurism.  
“Thanks for a great night Mames say bye to Grace for me I’m gonna go now see you later bye!” Hannah doesn’t draw breath once between the couch and the door and Mamrie is surprised there isn’t a cartoonish Hannah-shaped hole in it. She surveys her empty apartment.  
“Shit.”  
——-  
They don’t see each other for three days. Mamrie tries calling but Grace doesn’t pick up and eventually she gives up and just drives round to Grace’s apartment.  
Grace lets her in and they stare at each other uncertainly for a while.  
“Did you fuck her?” Grace finally asks.  
“What? No!”  
“But you wanted to. You’ve been thinking about it.”  
Mamrie knows she has to head this off quickly. Grace lashes out when she feels vulnerable and Mamrie knows herself well enough to see where that will end up. She goes for honesty.  
“I’ve – fuck. I’ve been thinking about you and her!”  
“I’m not-“  
“No, Grace, listen! I’ve been thinking about watching you and her together and then fucking joining in, do you understand? I can’t get it out of my head. I’m sorry.”  
Mamrie looks away and her shoulders slump. There’s a long silence and then Grace laughs sourly.  
“This is the dumbest fight ever, then.”  
“What?”  
Grace looks wretchedly at her for a moment and takes a deep breath.  
“Mamrie, I love you. I’m crazy about you. But I think I might love her too.”  
Mamrie doesn’t have a response to that.  
“It’s just…it’s Hannah, you know? We’re a team.”  
“How long,” Mamrie says and her voice is thick, “how long have you felt this way?”  
Tears are streaming down Grace’s cheeks and Mamrie is pretty sure she’s about to cry too.  
“I don’t know. I don’t, I swear, I only even realised what it was the other night. It just all clicked into place for me. I made that stupid fucking joke and you made that noise and I realised I was hoping you were into it. It scared me so much, Mames.”  
Mamrie laughs. She can’t help it. Even by her standards this is fucking bizarre.  
“So we’ve spent three days fighting and accusing each other because we both want Hannah and neither of us wants to admit it?”  
Grace nods, wiping harshly at her face. Mamrie can’t bear to watch her punish herself anymore and pulls Grace into her arms. They hold onto each other tightly and Grace kisses her desperately.  
“I love you,” Grace says over and over against her lips, “I love you, I love you, I love you.”  
“I know, babe,” Mamrie soothes. “I know.”  
——-  
They make love after that and Mamrie can’t remember feeling closer to Grace in her life. They lie together afterwards, holding each other, reassuring each other without words until they finally fall asleep.  
Mamrie stays at Grace’s house for nearly a week. Neither of them wants to be apart for more than a moment and Mamrie has never seen Grace be so physically affectionate. They don’t talk about Hannah or acknowledge their mutual feelings for her, but they aren’t avoiding the subject either. Mamrie is vaguely aware that they’re building up to something and she’s grateful that, however subconsciously, they’ve taken this time together to renew their trust in each other.  
It’s a Tuesday night when it finally comes up. The two of them are tangled together on Grace’s bed, lazily making out. Grace’s baseball shirt is on the floor and Mamrie thinks Grace in just jeans and a bra might be the sexiest thing she’s ever seen. Grace strokes the sweet spot on her back gently and Mamrie bites Grace’s lip in response. Grace hums happily and breaks the kiss. She looks at Mamrie with absolute love and suddenly Mamrie knows tonight is the night they finally talk about it.  
“You thought about me and Hannah?” Grace asks. Her hands continue to roam over Mamrie’s skin, half soothing, half arousing.  
“Yeah,” Mamrie answers, kissing Grace lightly. “The more I tried not to, the worse it got.”  
“Tell me,” Grace kisses her neck lightly.  
“The first time, I thought about how Hannah would react when we told her we knew and that turned into you kissing her. Then, when we all got drunk, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Even when we were fighting, I just kept coming back to this idea of the three of us.”  
“Did you think about it when we were together?”  
“Yeah.” Mamrie’s surprised to realise there’s no shame in her voice. “I was touching you and thinking about how she would do it, how she’d fit in, who would get to touch her first.”  
Mamrie isn’t explaining herself very well, she knows, but Grace seems to understand.  
“What about you?” Mamrie asks. Grace tugs Mamrie’s t-shirt over her head before she answers so they’re equally undressed.  
“When I realised she had a crush at first I thought it was just you she wanted. I expected to be jealous, you know? But I saw her doing that dopey smitten look at you and it didn’t hurt. It felt right. I realised that…”  
Grace looks up at her, nervous, and Mamrie kisses her deeply, trying to convey her reassurance.  
“I realised,” Grace says, “that when we’re together, I miss her.”  
Mamrie takes careful stock of herself. She’s not hurt or upset by what Grace said. In fact, she totally gets it.  
“Did you think about being with her?”  
“Yeah,” Grace says. They’re so close together that Mamrie can see Grace’s eyes dilate.  
“Tell me,” Mamrie’s voice has gone a little husky. It’s a little embarrassing how eager she is to hear Grace’s fantasy.  
“I thought about us, together. We’re just about to have sex and Hannah walks in. She gets all flustered and apologises and you just stand up and walk over to her, buck naked. You bring her over to the bed and I kiss her while you start undressing her.” Grace’s hands are roaming over her skin and Mamrie blood is starting to race a little.  
“When she’s naked we pull her into bed with us…”  
Grace is flushed and Mamrie can’t tell if it’s embarrassment or arousal.  
“Tell me,” she urges, sliding her under Grace’s pants and over her ass. Grace’s hips rock slightly in response and Mamrie squeezes gently.  
“I go down on her. You watch. Then right before she comes, I stop.”  
Mamrie kisses Grace’s shoulder gently and begins to work her way up her throat and her hand slides around Grace’s hip until she meets wetness. Grace takes a deep, ragged breath.  
“Keep going,” Mamrie urges.  
“Um…she…oh, Mamrie, there…”  
“Keep going, Grace.”  
“I…um, I stop and we watch her make herself come and fuck! Harder!”  
Mamrie doesn’t think she’s going to get any more detail from Grace tonight. She rolls them over and slides down Grace’s body, eager to reward her trust.  
——-  
“It could happen, you know.” Mamrie really doesn’t know where this stuff keeps coming from. The two of them are having a nice quiet breakfast together and suddenly her mouth opens and absolute weirdness spills out.  
“No it couldn’t.” Grace’s automatic response sounds like the knee-jerk denial she always has towards things she wants. Mamrie decides to ignore it.  
“We know she likes us both. We want it, she wants it. Why not?”  
Grace looks up at her.  
“You’re serious?”  
“Yeah. I am.” Mamrie sounds as surprised as Grace does. They stare at each other for a moment.  
“Wait, what are we talking about here?” Grace asks.  
“I’m talking about you and me asking Hannah to be with us.”  
Mamrie sees the hope flash across Grace’s expression briefly before it fades.  
“Mames, this almost broke us up. If it goes wrong it could fuck up everything.”  
“It could,” Mamrie acknowledges, “but I don’t think it will. Even if she says no, we can deal with it. We’re the Holy Trinity, Grace, we’re the three in one. Nothing can break that.”  
Grace smiles.  
“Okay. But we have to do this carefully.”  
——-  
They really do intend to do it carefully. They plan to sit Hannah down and explain things in short sentences with small words and then give her the space to do her freaking out and processing and whatever else she needs. They plan to make sure Hannah knows this is something they both want and that she’d be an equal partner, not an intruder into their relationship. If she says yes, they plan to date casually to give Hannah a chance to adjust before bringing up the whole sex thing.  
They plan to do everything right and then the party happens.  
Maybe she shouldn’t be surprised that it’s Grace who initiates things. Mamrie knows Grace is convinced Hannah will say no, because Grace always refuses to believe that good things will happen to her until they’re actually happening. She knows Grace is dreading talking to Hannah, she’s afraid of saying the wrong thing and messing it up. Maybe this is her ripping off the Band-Aid, doing what she does best. Showing rather than telling.  
Either way, when Grace looks down at Hannah and back at her, Mamrie knows what’s up. She has a split second to decide to go with it before the two of them are kissing with Hannah held between them. Grace kisses her tentatively at first, as though asking permission, but if they’re going to do this, they’re going to fucking go for it.  
Hannah makes to move away but Mamrie holds her in place and Grace runs her hands through Hannah’s hair. When Hannah tries to say something Grace tugs and Hannah makes a tiny, broken noise in response and fuck, Mamrie is turned on. She slides her hands around to Hannah’s waist and she swears she can feel her heart racing. She and Grace finally look at each other.  
Yeah. They’re going for it.  
——-  
Mamrie was right about the expression on Hannah’s face as they undress her. Hannah is kind of passive at first, as if she’s not sure what she’s allowed to do, so Mamrie tells her. She finds herself becoming stern in an effort not to laugh out loud and wow, okay, Hannah is into it. Between that and Grace’s mild pain kink, Mamrie is starting to feel like the vanilla one in the room and there’s something she never thought would happen.  
Hannah still looks a little nervous, so Mamrie tries out her theory. She looks Hannah dead in the eye and gestures towards Grace.  
“Kiss her.”  
If it’s even possible, Hannah’s eyes get wider. She glances back and forth between them uncertainly. Grace finishes pulling her clothes off and walks over. Hannah is very deliberately not looking anywhere below the neck on either of them and Mamrie has to double her efforts to keep a straight face.  
“Hannah,” she says as Grace invades Hannah’s personal space. “I said kiss her.”  
Mamrie can actually see Hannah’s pupils dilate until barely any of the blue is left. She turns to Grace and laughs nervously.  
“It’s okay,” Grace whispers, stroking her cheek. She’s smiling at Hannah and her eyes are shining with love and Mamrie’s heart constricts in her chest. This is right. This is what she wants.  
Hannah glances at Mamrie once more and Mamrie nods.  
And then Hannah is kissing Grace.  
And then Hannah is kissing her.  
And then they’re loving each other.  
Yeah. This is right.


	3. Chapter 3

None of them had any idea how to negotiate this new relationship at the start. She and Mamrie had talked about it for a long time before they seduced Hannah but the practice was wildly different from the theory. They’d been right about Hannah freaking out and three weeks after their first night together they’d spent four hours talking to her through a locked bathroom door, trying to persuade her that they weren’t doing anything wrong. What Grace hadn’t anticipated was that both she and Mamrie would freak out as well. Mamrie’s crisis had taken the form of convincing herself that Grace only wanted to be with Hannah and attempting to do the ‘noble’ thing and step back. Grace had flat out called her an idiot and then spent several hours making love to her on the sofa. Hannah had come home from visiting Maggie to find them stretched out together under a blanket and refused to explain why she laughed loudly before joining them.  
Grace’s own meltdown hadn’t been about having two girlfriends, exactly. She was actually surprisingly cool with that. What preyed on her mind was how much she had to lose. Her two best friends had become her two girlfriends and she couldn’t shake the idea that being this happy meant the other shoe was about to drop. Grace’s first instinct, as ever, was to bolt before she could get hurt. Eventually they’d all trouped down to Hannah’s therapist and begged for help.  
Doctor Williams had pointed out that they were now effectively navigating four relationships; three couples and the triad, and that if they wanted it to work all of them had to be equally important. Hannah had confessed to feeling like the third wheel in Grace and Mamrie’s relationship and the two of them had opened up about the difficulty they’d had admitting they both wanted Hannah. It took time and honesty and more bravery than Grace knew she possessed, but their relationship had passed the six month mark and Grace was starting to trust that this new happiness wouldn’t be snatched away from her.  
Then the murders start.  
At first it’s not relevant to her life at all. There are a couple of small news items about women missing from the LA area that Grace doesn’t pay attention to, then one night there’s a major story about a recovered body, badly mutilated. The three of them agree how awful it is and change the channel.  
A couple of weeks later another body is found, and then another, and suddenly the mayor and police chief are giving a press conference about a fucking serial killer at work in Los Angeles. It’s completely surreal. The city is suddenly filled with the world’s press, discussing and dissecting what exactly is this guy’s problem. The press call him the Hollywood Ripper and soon Grace is hearing the name every day.  
It creeps slowly into her own life. Hannah refuses to let either of them go anywhere alone and Mamrie snarls every time the news reports go into voyeuristic detail about what was done to those poor women. She ends all her Daily Grace videos now with a reminder to anyone in LA to keep safe and all her social media sites are slowly filling up with speculation and discussion and the number of people reminding her to take her own advice is really pretty touching.  
When the latest body is recovered in pieces, Hannah gets calls from her both her sisters telling her to get out of the city. Grace and Mamrie get similar calls over the next couple of days, but Mamrie refuses to let the bastard chase her away and like hell are they going to leave her there alone. Grace makes them both move in with her temporarily and they get the place fitted out with the best security system their combined savings can buy.  
——-  
It’s been a month, and the city feels like it’s under siege. Twelve women are dead and another three are missing. After yet another news report featuring grieving families with microphones shoved intrusively in their faces, Mamrie loses her temper and drags Hannah to the hardware store while Grace is instructed to set up her camera outside. When they return Mamrie sets up a plastic tub on the bench and puts on goggles and gloves. She smiles at the camera like always, but Grace can see the anger behind it.  
“Hi, and welcome to You Deserve A Drink. I’m Mamrie Hart, and who do I think most deserves a drink this week? It’s everyone’s favourite pathetic impotent psycho, the Hollywood Ripper! This one’s for you, pal!”  
Mamrie’s ‘drink’ involves bleach, acid, rat poison, ground glass, rusty nails, dog shit and a twist of lemon. In between each ingredient she replaces her usual jokes with vicious, hilarious insults. Grace stares in absolute amazement at first but soon she’s laughing so hard that tears run down her cheeks.  
“I think I’m going to name this one the Lethal Injection. So here’s to you, you fucker,” Mamrie addresses the camera, holding up a cocktail glass filled with the vile concoction and Grace is glad she’s wearing gloves because she’s pretty sure it’s eating through the glass.  
“Drink up! As for me,” she places the glass down carefully and lifts a bottle of champagne into view, “I’ll be saving this for the day the cops shoot you in the head. Cheers!”  
Mamrie flips the camera off and walks out of shot. Grace feels like she should applaud.  
The video barely needs any editing and Grace finishes it as soon as she can. From the bedroom she can hear Mamrie apparently working out some of her frustration with Hannah and as soon as she hits the upload button she rushes to join them.  
A few hours later she returns to her computer, intending to link to the video from all of their social media as usual. She fires up YouTube to grab the URL and stares at the screen in shock. In just over three hours it’s garnered over half a million views.  
“Mames, get over here!” Grace yells. Mamrie walks over, followed by an adorably rumpled Hannah. Grace just points.  
——-  
By day two the video has 4 million views. Some enterprising soul on Tumblr photoshops the moment Mamrie drops the dog shit into the tub so that she’s wearing a crown and a banner hangs behind her saying “Queen of Los Angeles”. Grace is seriously thinking about having t shirts printed.  
On day three it hits 15 million views. Hannah has been quiet all morning and when Mamrie is in the shower she pulls Grace aside.  
“Grace, we need to get Mamrie out of the city,” Hannah tells her seriously.  
“Why?” Grace asks.  
“This thing has gone majorly viral. What if he sees it?”  
“Then he can suck my dick, Hannah.” Mamrie’s voice floats through from the bathroom. “We’re being careful, we’re doing the buddy system. Stop worrying so much.”  
——-  
The three of them have a schedule, sister-wife style, so that Grace gets time with each of them individually and time to herself when they go out without her. They try to have a group date night at least once every two weeks and by chance Pearl’s birthday party has fallen on one of those nights.  
Grace is pretty sure that every single person Pearl had ever met is at the club and it was quite possible that people were being pulled in off the streets from the sheer gravitational force of awesomeness. It’s amazing, though, what has become normal in the weeks since the killings started. The bouncers are reminding any woman who leaves the club alone to stay in sight or find a friend to stay with. Patrol cars roll past from time to time. She wonders if the exuberance in the club is an unconscious fuck-you to the psycho whose presence hangs over all of LA like a fog. Grace has better things to focus on though; Hannah and Mamrie are dancing together, looking hot enough to throw off sparks and occasionally looking over at Grace as if to enquire whether she’s enjoying the show.  
She is. She makes her way to the dance floor, enjoying the way they watch her approach hungrily. Hannah reaches for her hand and pulls her in and soon they’re dancing together in their own little world, spinning and twisting and dipping in and out of each other’s orbit. Grace knows people are watching but their unique friendship is well known and she isn’t too worried. They’re all notorious for teasing the various ships they’re involved in and Grace is confident that their behaviour won’t raise too many eyebrows.  
She has no idea how long they dance together. It’s intoxicating to touch each other in public and Grace recognises the desire building between them. Hannah’s hands are starting roam a little further than could be explained by friendly flirting and Mamrie is smiling indulgently. Grace nudges Hannah and mimes getting a drink. Hannah nods distractedly and returns her attention to Mamrie.  
Grace laughs. A couple of months ago being dismissed like that would have left her feeling insecure for the rest of the night but these days she is confident enough that their focus on each other is nothing but hot.  
She orders a soda and leans against the bar, enjoying the show her girlfriends are putting on. Mamrie has resorted to holding Hannah’s arms in place as they dance and Grace isn’t sure that’s a helpful idea. Hannah and Mamrie have a mild dominant/submissive dynamic that surfaces from time to time and from the looks of it, being restrained is not doing anything to calm Hannah down. She laughs at the resigned expression on Mamrie’s face as she gives up and drags Hannah off the dance floor and towards the exit, no doubt hoping the fresh air will cool the little energizer bunny down. Grace suspects they’ll ending up making out instead.  
She chats to a few people, finishes her drink and dances with Pearl. After quarter of an hour, Hannah and Mamrie haven’t returned so Grace goes after them, muttering under her breath about fire hoses and bromide. She heads for the back alley, expecting to see the two of them wrapped up in each other, probably breaking a few decency laws by now.  
That’s not what she sees.  
What she sees what is that is Hannah lying on the ground no this isn’t happening with the side of her head matted with black-red blood please be alive baby and Mamrie’s purse lying next to her with its torn strap trailing from her hand.  
Grace doesn’t scream. She runs to Hannah’s side and finds a pulse thank you God and then calls 911 with shaking hands hurry hurry hurry come on you motherfuckers get here NOW and tries very hard to listen to the instructions the dispatcher gives her headwound/fatal/braindamage/coma.  
She holds Hannah’s hand and watches the shallow movement of her chest and doesn’t think until she hears sirens. She doesn’t take her eyes off Hannah until the paramedics are edging her out of the way and then she looks up to see a crowd has gathered. Nick is desperately trying to get to her despite the uniformed policeman blocking him and Pearl is standing in shock, hands over her mouth.  
“Ma’am?”  
She turns to see a woman with a small notebook and a shield on her belt and suddenly her brain jumps back into gear.  
“Mamrie!” She yells.  
——-  
Grace is shivering. The precinct isn’t cold and she’s been handed a cup of coffee but her blood feels like ice. She’s explained what she knows four separate times now and she just wants to get out of there and find out if Hannah is still alive. She doesn’t think about the other thing. Finally she’s given a ride to the hospital. The cop escorting her speaks to a nurse and she’s ushered through an endless parade of doors and corridors and elevators until she’s outside Hannah’s room.  
Hannah is awake. She’s talking to another detective and she has a huge dressing on the side of her head and her face is black and blue and one eye is swollen shut but she’s alive and she’s awake and Grace’s legs are barely holding her up at this point so she stumbles into the room and she and Hannah just stare at each other.  
“Excuse me miss, I’m conducting an interview,” the detective says.  
“This is Grace,” Hannah answers without looking away from her. Her voice is slurred and her lisp seemed more pronounced.  
“Your…other girlfriend?” Grace vaguely registers his tone, somewhere been hesitant and disapproving, but she’s too busy drinking in the sight of Hannah to care.  
“Yeah,” Hannah answers distractedly. The detective says something Grace doesn’t catch and leaves. The two of them look at each other for a moment longer before Hannah speaks.  
“I tried, Grace. I swear, I tried to fight him.”  
“It was him, then?” She’s been not thinking about it for hours now and saying it aloud makes her want to vomit.  
“Yeah.” Hannah looks down and Grace finally notices the scrapes on her hands and knuckles. She sits on the edge of the bed and strokes the uninjured side of Hannah’s face gently.  
“What happened?”  
Hannah won’t look her in the eye.  
“We were making out and he asked for a light or something, I don’t remember. Mamrie told him to get lost and he said something about the video.”  
Grace’s heart lurches in her chest. Hannah’s gaze is unfocused and tears are steadily tracking her face  
“He tasered her. I tried to stop him, I did, but he was so strong, Grace. The detective says they found blood on the wall, they think he smashed my head into it.”  
Grace is silent until she’s sure she won’t throw up.  
“What about you? What do the doctors say?”  
Grace has never seen Hannah look so disgusted with herself.  
“Concussion and a cut on my head. I’m fine. They’re letting me out in the morning.”  
They fall silent again. Grace scoots over until she’s curled up against Hannah’s uninjured side. They lace their fingers together and Grace presses a soft kiss to Hannah’s temple.  
——-  
When Grace wheels Hannah out of the hospital the next morning they’re greeted by a barrage of cameras. Hannah instinctively covers her face and Grace sets her lips into a thin line, ignoring the shouting reporters. She makes out enough to know that the details of their relationship have been made public. A hand touches her arm and she wheels round, ready to explode, only to find Nick pointing in the direction of his car. She sighs in relief and they get out of there as fast as possible.  
There’s a car in Grace’s driveway when they arrive. Hannah inhales sharply at the sight of the red Ford and Grace only has a second to register the response before Maggie comes flying out of her front door and pulls Hannah into a tight hug, sobbing desperately. Maggie’s parents follow more slowly and approach Grace.  
“Pearl called us,” Mrs Bowen explains, “we came as fast as we could.”  
Grace nods dumbly. She can see Pearl in the doorway and someone who might be Sarah behind her. Nick ushers them all into the house and Hannah is installed on the couch with Maggie curled up next to her, assuring her that Naomi is on her way.  
“Grace,” Pearl says softly and jerks her head toward the bedroom. Grace follows her and closes the door.  
“I called your mom,” Pearl says, “to let her know you were okay.”  
“Thanks,” Grace says dully.  
“Grace…” Pearl hesitates. “Have you seen the news?”  
“No.”  
“They’re saying the Ripper took Mamrie.”  
“Yeah,” Grace says and doesn’t think about it.  
“Because of the video?”  
“Yeah.”  
Pearl makes a choked noise and then shakes her head as though to clear it.  
“You need to talk to Sarah. Somebody told the press that the three of you are…together and it’s all over the news. You’re about to get swamped. She knows how to handle the press, let her deal with it.”  
Grace feels like everything is happening very distantly.  
“Okay.”  
——–  
The press is camped outside Grace’s house and Pearl and Sarah have been talking to lawyers in some effort to protect what’s left of Hannah and Grace’s privacy. The detective who outed them has been fired. Nobody has asked if it’s true, if they really are together, but she and Hannah have been inseparable so maybe it’s a moot point.  
Mamrie has been gone for two days.  
In an effort to not think about it, Grace goes online and scrolls Tumblr, wondering how people are responding. There isn’t one mention of their relationship. Everything in the tags is support for Hannah and Grace, sharing tipline numbers and information and an overwhelming sense of determination to get Mamrie back. Out of some morbid impulse Grace navigates to the Lethal Injection YDAD. It’s gone over 30 million views. She closes the laptop and breathes deeply and evenly through her nose in an effort not to vomit.  
Beside her, Hannah stirs into wakefulness. The swelling has gone down and the bruising has begun fading into one yellow-purple blotch over her eye and temple but she still looks beat all to hell. Grace kisses Hannah gently and tries not to notice the moment she wakes fully and remembers.  
——-  
On the third day Grace finds Hannah on her knees at the foot of their bed praying in a jumble of English and Hebrew. She digs through a drawer until she finds a rosary and kneels beside Hannah. They hold hands tightly and Grace tries to recite the Hail Mary but what comes out is “I commend you, dear sister, to Almighty God-” before Hannah turns and slaps her.  
They look at each other for a long moment and just when Grace thinks Hannah’s going to say something that means they have to think about it, Hannah kisses her hard and before Grace really knows what’s happening they’re tearing at one another’s clothes and Hannah is pushing her onto the bed and soon her thoughts are drowned out in the white noise of pleasure.  
They lie together afterwards and try not to notice the space where Mamrie isn’t, but something has broken the dam and Grace knows they’re both thinking about it.  
“Is there any chance, do you think?” Hannah asks.  
He took the others at random and they were butchered. He had a reason to go after Mamrie. He left you alive so he could get out of there with her quicker.  
Grace’s jaw works briefly as she tries to think of any way Mamrie might still be alive. Finally she shakes her head, once.  
Hannah swallows.  
“My dad called me this morning,” she says. Grace blinks.  
“What did he say?” She asks, afraid she already knows the answer.  
Hannah’s face contorts in a way Grace doesn’t recognise and it takes her a moment to realise Hannah is fighting back rage.  
“Nothing good,” Hannah says.  
“Is that why you were praying?”  
Hannah nods tightly. Grace takes a deep breath and hopes they can survive what she says next.  
“Hannah, if anyone could talk their way into Heaven, it’s Mamrie.”  
Hannah smiles briefly, by reflex, but pretty soon they’re holding each other as they break down.  
——-  
When Grace comes out of the bathroom Hannah is staring at her phone.  
“What?” Grace asks, when what she means is what now?  
Hannah looks up with a completely neutral expression, as though she has literally no idea how to respond.  
“They found Mamrie.”  
Grace flinches.  
“Are they sure it’s her?” Grace almost asks if they could identify her, remembering what had been done to the others.  
“Grace, she’s alive.”  
Grace feels her own face go blank.  
“What?”  
“She’s alive. They found her and she’s alive!”  
They break every speed limit on the way to the hospital and ignore the press as they sprint inside. A nurse Grace vaguely recognises leads them to a small room and Grace is half convinced her heart is going to jump out of her chest with how hard it’s beating and the nurse peeks in asks if visitors are okay and-  
And Mamrie answers. Grace can’t make out the words but she knows that voice and Hannah grabs at her arm as though she’s swooning and the nurse gestures for them to go in and suddenly Grace can’t move. She can’t bear the thought that this is some awful, wonderful dream and she’s going to wake up and Mamrie will still be dead, but Hannah pulls her forward and they walk in together.  
Mamrie is alive. She’s bruised worse than Hannah and her arm is in a cast but she’s alive and in one piece and even though she still can’t move Grace finally feels awake.  
Hannah lets go of Grace and kisses Mamrie and Grace feels something click back into place inside herself. She waits for them to ease apart and then claims her own kiss and the three of them just sit and bask in each other’s presence.  
——-  
It’s been a week since Mamrie was found and she’s a god damn national hero. Grace has heard the official story dozens of times and the real story once in the hospital as Mamrie lay between them shaking like a leaf and she still can’t quite believe it. Although unable to move, Mamrie had stayed awake long enough after being electrocuted to see the Ripper smash Hannah’s head into the wall. She’d been tied up, shoved into a car and taken to a remote shack almost a full day’s drive away  
with blood on the walls and the floor and oh god they almost lost her  
and Mamrie had waited for him to let his guard down  
and by then she had a broken arm and three fractured ribs and the only reason his guard was down was that he was preparing to rape her  
and she’d kicked him hard in the nuts and punched him in the throat  
and she’d stared at Hannah the whole time she spoke because he told her Hannah was dead and she believed him  
and used his own chains  
almost rusted over with the blood of fifteen women  
to secure him to the wall  
and looked at the knives he’d laid out for later and thought about avenging Hannah and all the others  
and WALKED for two days back into Los Angeles. The police went to the shack and found him sitting in a pile of his own shit and now he’s safely in a jail cell  
and this is a death penalty state you fucker  
and Mamrie is standing on a dais having a medal pinned to her chest while Grace and Hannah hold hands in the front row and beam at her.  
It’s been a long week. The three of them have talked to police and prosecutors and doctors and therapists and Grace just wants to go home, lock all the doors and never let either of them out of her sight again. They’ve been well and truly outed, so when Mamrie steps down they both kiss her and she keeps both of them with her as she poses for photos. The ceremony comes to a close and the three of them make their way back to Grace’s house. Grace helps Mamrie out of the car, mindful of her healing ribs and leads her into the bedroom to rest. She hears the comforting beep of the alarm as Hannah locks the place down before coming to join them.  
After the weekend they start their lives up again. Hannah wants to take more time but Mamrie tells her in no uncertain terms that she won’t allow the murdering bastard to disrupt their lives any more. She hasn’t talked about what happened since the hospital but they’re all in seriously heavy duty therapy and Grace trusts that she’ll talk to them when she’s ready.  
They film a video together thanking everyone for their support and Mamrie and Hannah sit with her as she edits it. Hannah’s bruising is gone and the cut across her head is all but hidden under her hair. Mamrie’s arm is still in plaster but her ribs are healing and the deep shadows under Grace’s eyes have faded and overall Grace thinks the three of them look okay on the screen. She uploads to Mamrie’s channel and when she sees Mamrie has over 5 million subscribers, she laughs out loud. It’s the first time she’s laughed since Pearl’s birthday and it feels so, so good.


End file.
